When I swapped my boyfriend for an education

I was 26. The first time I decided to go back to school.

It cost me my relationship with the person who, for years, was my biggest fan. Or so I thought.

It was quite the year.

Dutroux is arrested. Mandela is president. Netanyahu becomes prime minister. Charles and Diana officially divorce. Superman is parralyzed. Spiderman and Zendaya are born. Windows 95 is 1 year old. The early adopters are eagerly exploring www but for the rest of us it would be another couple of years before we could dive in to the Wonderful Wide online World.

That year I read a book. A book that would change my life.

I was going back to school

"Don't do that. You don't earn any money with that", my boyfriend said.

"You? College? You'll never make it.", my father said.

"Oh, good luck", my godfather said, his voice full of doubt and disbelief.

"Go for it!" my aunt said decidedly, and she meant it.

It hurt. The lack of confidence and the lack of recognition that I was worth the investment. From precisely the men from whom I had kind of expected the most support. What was I in their eyes?

And then I got mad. The fire in me burned hotter and brighter and the more I thought about it, the more certain I became.

I. Am. Going. Back. To. School.

I was 27. The first time I really choose myself.

To really choose yourself is something you don't do for another

(more on this in one of the next posts!)

After months of preparation I was ready. The market was scanned. Conversations had been made with study councilors, jobmarket councilors, curriculum managers. Rosters, handbooks and course manuals had been studied and analysed on feasability. Sources and tools were listed and, not unimportant, the finances were arranged.

Because, three years of fulltime studying. For a single, adult woman without a job. Not the easiest challenge.

In September I enrolled for the course communication management at the Egon College in Ghent. 3 years later I graduated with a major in corporate communications. No cums or other laudes. Just, with satisfaction. Lots of satisfaction.

Good enough is also ok

(topic for a future post on how not every story needs to be a superhero story )

My father stood by my side at graduation. I made it after all, huh dad.

My godfather voiced his admiration and generously admitted he had seriously underestimated me.

My aunt shone with pride and glowed like someone who had been proven right.

And my boyfriend? Well...

He didn't witness this part of my story. But don't worry, he followed his own story and as far as I know, and I'm pleased to say, he's doing quite well. Our time together remains an important chapter in my life. But we each had our own path to follow.

Recently someone asked me what the beste decision of my life was. I smiled and said:

When I swapped my boyfriend for an education.